letters

Dear Fanfic Author,

I do not care how good your fic is, if I have to work to find the next part? It will never be read. If you don't conveniently leave a link at the top or bottom for the next chapter or it's not all grouped under one tag? I'm done. And you know what? So is 99.9% of your audience.

Love,
An avid reader

Dear Jon Favreau,

You and your steller cast made gold boullion out of a script that would have otherwise been utter dreckitude. Thank you for Saving Iron Man 2. Also, please to be in front of the camera more often, I've missed seeing you on-screen.

Love,
An avid fan

Dear The A-Team Movie,

Please be as mindless, shiny, and fun as I am expecting you to be. My only wish is that you had cast a female in the role of Face, so we could see another shining example of how fucking insane Dirk Benedict is.

Love,
Someone who is otherwise looking very forward to shirtless Bradley Cooper and the new B.A. Baracus

Dear The Expendables,

It matters not how mind-boggling awful your reality will be, as soon as I see you, you will become my favorite movie of all time.

Love,
Is it August 13th yet?

Dear The Vampire Diaries,

Thank you for bringing Ian Somerhalder into my life. And for being unexpectedly fucking AWESOME. And more importantly than either of those other reasons: for having strong female characters who need neither a man nor saving and can pump you full of vervain all on their own, fuck you very much.

Love,
Is it Thursday yet?