(no subject)

[turnonmyheels]

I think this is the longest I have ever gone without making a public post. Contrary to the past couple years, I'm not doing badly. I am in fact, doing the best I have since everyone started dying on me. I set three goals for the year when I was struggling with pneumonia back in January.

1) Pull myself together CHECK MARK
2) Get my career back on track CHECK MARK
3) Get an equity line CHECK MARK

\0/\0/\0/\0/\0/\0/

Work: going well. Productive member of staff again.

Home: it's a challenge integrating two households, but we are getting there. The dogs are doing great [so great they conspired last night to piss me off. it was a thing, they were all in on it together]. Living with Sally is the easiest thing I think I've ever done. Seriously. She's been here about three months and things are going so well. My friend Heather says she's moving into the basement, she's one of those flighty people, so I'll believe it when it happens. Sally and I both hope she will do that because THEN there will be someone who will do the lawn and we won't have to. ;-)

Health: Sally and I have been working out since mid-November. November was the gentle time, getting up some mornings (we still haven't made it to all mornings), she was riding her Peloton and I was doing a dance cardio thing. December we started using Beach Body On Demand. It's a streaming workout service by the people who did P90x. We started the LIIFT 4 (lifting/HIIT) this Monday, was week 3 day 1.

Five weeks of exercise. I don't have any scale victories at the moment so I'm celebrating Non-Scale Victories. I can wear some of my smaller panties. I have enough energy to do all the things I want to accomplish. I feel stronger every single day. <-- that's a very big thing for me. When I got out of shape I became weak. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

STARTING to exercise was far more difficult than actually doing it. I remember way before depression hit me and I was a group ex instructor trying to get some RL friends of mine who suffered from depression to exercise. I could not for the life of me understand what was so difficult about just doing something you KNEW would make things better.

Uh. Well. There is nothing in the world like first-hand experience. One of the things I'm working on now is to accept OTHER people's experiences as easily as I accept my own. I get it now. I really do. Prozac kept me from crying all day every day and helped me get out of bed. Exercise has triggered the endorphin feedback loop and I feel less depressed every single day.

In conclusion, things are better. I honestly believe I'd still be where I was if Sally hadn't picked up her life and moved in with me. I will be eternally grateful for that.

Comments

[ldthomps]

YAY for real improvements in several quarters, most importantly in the overall "feeling better" category. I love that the move has helped you both get back to the exercise that helps!

And fingers crossed for another roommate who doesn't mind mowing :D.

[ldthomps]

Oh, right! And I was going to say that there's a reason the Fundamental Attribution Error is, like, a Thing: it's Really hard to grok others' experiences until we have a similar frame. I have a bipolar friend whose dad was forever trying to get her to just bootstrap her way out who got pretty vicious Alzheimer's later in life, and told her he finally got why no bootstrap was enough. She told me she kinda wished he'd never gotten that empathy <3. I'm sorry you got the perspective you did, but also super glad you found a way back to feeling better.

[turnonmyheels]

Thank you for giving me the real name!

[turnonmyheels]

Yes, real improvement that's lasted several weeks already. It's one thing to get started, it's another thing to keep going. Both are mentally tough.

I really hope she moves in

[escritoireazul]

I'm glad things are going better! It sounds like some amazing things are happening.

[turnonmyheels]

they truly are

*g*