More Venting
Jan. 30th, 2012 11:47 amThis time clothing related! Exciting, yes?
Problem #1: Small ass, narrow hips, no waist. Not exactly an apple shape rather more boy like. Women's jeans that fit are difficult to find because of my lack of narrow/small waist. I often have to sacrifice.
1) do I want to make my ass look amazing [because it is totally amazing]
or
2) do I want to wear a fitted shirt?
Because I can't wear pants that make my ass look amazing and a fitted shirt at the same time, because the pants that look great 'cause muffin top, and the shirts that look great can only be worn with pants that make it look like I have an absence of ass. The opposite of ass.
Problem #2 Demon Lycra
Remember the days, oh .. 10+ years ago when your blue jeans didn't have any Lycra in them? You put them on, they fit exactly right but they'd relax a teeny, tiny pinch, and get that worn-in feeling. You could wear them more than once -- unless you got them dirty -- So if you bought a pair of pants they would essentially be that size and would *always* be that size.
Fast forward to present day. You go into a store, you try on jeans. You say to yourself WOW these jeans fit really, REALLY well. So you buy them. You wear them. Halfway through the day -- due to all the Lycra in the fabric -- they have stretched out and the ass is baggy, the waistband won't stay where it belongs, and you spend most of your time heaving them back up where they belong. You have to wash and over-dry the fuckers to get them to fit again. Except half-way through the day they've stretched out AGAIN. And then they wear out in oh ... 6 months? Because of all the stretching, washing, drying, and because Lycra doesn't last as long as good old-fashioned denim.
So the next time you shop for jeans you HAVE TO BUY A SIZE TOO FUCKING SMALL. [hello arch-nemesis Muffin Top] And the first four hours of wearing those pants is misery. At the end of the day, they look amazing. You can wear them more than once because you bought them too small. They only stretch out so far, which is the size that actually, you know *fit*. They will still wear out too fast, because your body is over-stretching the material. You don't however over-wash them, because THE FIRST FOUR HOURS YOU WEAR THEM IS MISERY BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO FUCKING SMALL.
Hello. I'm having a day from hell, please see previous work rant it's gotten *worse*.
My pants are too tight, but they fit my ass, I have PMS, my throat feels like I'm getting a cold, and in general I declare this a wasted day. I don't want a do-over though, 'cause it could get worse.
Problem #1: Small ass, narrow hips, no waist. Not exactly an apple shape rather more boy like. Women's jeans that fit are difficult to find because of my lack of narrow/small waist. I often have to sacrifice.
1) do I want to make my ass look amazing [because it is totally amazing]
or
2) do I want to wear a fitted shirt?
Because I can't wear pants that make my ass look amazing and a fitted shirt at the same time, because the pants that look great 'cause muffin top, and the shirts that look great can only be worn with pants that make it look like I have an absence of ass. The opposite of ass.
Problem #2 Demon Lycra
Remember the days, oh .. 10+ years ago when your blue jeans didn't have any Lycra in them? You put them on, they fit exactly right but they'd relax a teeny, tiny pinch, and get that worn-in feeling. You could wear them more than once -- unless you got them dirty -- So if you bought a pair of pants they would essentially be that size and would *always* be that size.
Fast forward to present day. You go into a store, you try on jeans. You say to yourself WOW these jeans fit really, REALLY well. So you buy them. You wear them. Halfway through the day -- due to all the Lycra in the fabric -- they have stretched out and the ass is baggy, the waistband won't stay where it belongs, and you spend most of your time heaving them back up where they belong. You have to wash and over-dry the fuckers to get them to fit again. Except half-way through the day they've stretched out AGAIN. And then they wear out in oh ... 6 months? Because of all the stretching, washing, drying, and because Lycra doesn't last as long as good old-fashioned denim.
So the next time you shop for jeans you HAVE TO BUY A SIZE TOO FUCKING SMALL. [hello arch-nemesis Muffin Top] And the first four hours of wearing those pants is misery. At the end of the day, they look amazing. You can wear them more than once because you bought them too small. They only stretch out so far, which is the size that actually, you know *fit*. They will still wear out too fast, because your body is over-stretching the material. You don't however over-wash them, because THE FIRST FOUR HOURS YOU WEAR THEM IS MISERY BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO FUCKING SMALL.
Hello. I'm having a day from hell, please see previous work rant it's gotten *worse*.
My pants are too tight, but they fit my ass, I have PMS, my throat feels like I'm getting a cold, and in general I declare this a wasted day. I don't want a do-over though, 'cause it could get worse.