turnonmyheels | (no subject)

I had to turn off the video, too. I couldn't stand the thought of these otherwise "normal, average" kids doing that. That boy talking so casually about a girl being dead, and completely unconcerned with her rape. I went and stared at my son for an hour, thinking of all the ways I could infuse empathy and humanity and kindness into him.

We need to have open discussion with kids that lack of consent, whether through deliberate intoxication or as the result of being Roofied is RAPE, and nothing but rape. You can hear one of the guys in the background of the "she's dead" video say, "Well, she was the one who drank that much." Yes, because any time anyone is passed out, FOR ANY REASON, that's automatic consent to sex with anyone in the area. WTF???

It's heartbreaking and soul-crushing, B.

The man/thing in that video can not be anything other than a sociopath, otherwise in my mind, it not only doesn't compute, I *can't* compute, my brain just locks down and tries to protect me.

We do need to have that discussion. And apparently many, many more besides. I have such a fear that nothing is going to happen to any of those monsters. How many more girls are there?

I just want to curl up under a rock and cry.

What blows my mind is that they took this girl to more than one party while she was passed out cold and violated her in more than one place and not one single person at these parties called the fucking police on these assholes. Blows my mind. I feel like another conversation that has to happen with our kids is that if they see anything like this happening that they CALL THE COPS. That they do the right fucking thing. And that doesn't mean, "Don't rape the girl, too." That means call the police, call an ambulance, call 911.

I know! There had to be at least one person at each of those parties who fundamentally knew it was wrong and yet did nothing.

What kind of cowardice is that? To personally witness something that monstrous and reprehensible and do NOTHING is damn near as bad as the crime itself.

If nothing else, if they won't call 911 or the cops or whatever, call their parents, right? I mean, this is unconscionable.

I think everyone involved is less than human. There absolutely no sense of compassion or empathy at all, it's one huge joke to them as evidenced by the video.

People *are* talking about it. It's slowly hitting mainstream media and the video will (finally) push it further. To me, I'm a little surprised because I've been following the story for several weeks now. I thought it already *had* wider appeal. Maybe it's because I'm closer to Ohio, although I saw it on a national news site. I don't know.

It's horrifying. And the victim blaming and shaming is horrific and doesn't surprise me at all. I wish it did.

I picked it up on Jezebel a while ago, but only read through the entire file over the weekend. I'm *sure* it's getting a LOT of attention in your neck of the woods, here in NC no one has heard about it that doesn't frequent feminist blogs.

I tried to raise some awareness on my facebook and only one person even acknowledged I had posted something.

It was a drunk girl. In the parlance of american culture, that means no one will touch it. She wasn't a child, she wasn't a boy, she "got herself into that mess on her own".

Which, excuse me while I throw up a lot in my mouth, but that's why there's such a lull of nothing.

And actually, I'm pretty sure I read the article first on reddit and then in the Times so I'm not sure if it's locale specific. We aren't all that close to Stubenville, and it's too small a city to ping our Ohio-counter-part radar.

I'm full of bile and hate and anger and I feel so fucking helpless against these atrocities.

In happier news there is new lost girl next week? Or now, actually, as I have it. But new lost girl! I am excite.

u ever get a beta, bb?

I've decided to wait until it's on SyFy [I will never stop hating that] instead of being all illegal with it. I am *really* looking forward to this season!

I got a beta! Now, I need inspiration for words 3500-7000

I'm just glad syfy (I agree with your hate) is airing it so soon after. No more waiting six months or even longer! A week I can handle.

There was a confidential thing that I have, too. it was... mostly silly? but apparently anna silk is pregnant so that'll make s4, if it happens, interesting.

OMG can you imagine Little Succubi BABIES!

I'm laughing like hell imagining them breast feeding from hapless victims.

Not really the comment to make considering the posted subject matter ...

No, but we have to find the humor in something or we go mad. That's sort of how it works. That's why I brought up Lost Girl in the first place; I know this is a serious discussion, but I just can't. I *can't*. I've seen this play out too many times and I am too much the pessimist to believe the video will have as much effect as a fucking well ought to.

So I think of little succubi babies and Anna Silk really and truly glowing during the confidential episode thing (season is already in the can, obviously), and I think about the aftercare fest wherein Stiles takes care of a Derek who got shoved out too early from subspace and has no idea what that *is* let alone how to deal with it, and. Those are better things.

I read that fic! I LOVED IT. And yes, we must think of better things or we'll all go mad. I haven't been this upset by something in the news since that poor 11 year old girl in Louisiana last year.

I want moooooooooooooore fic like that. So badly. Because Derek is a born beta and his personality does *not* at all seem dominant to me in the slightest. He gives to Peter so *easily* in s1 and s2 (well, in s1 before he realizes that Peter murdered Laura in a premeditated fashion) and he is SO AMAZINGLY BAD at being a leader partly because he isn't. He isn't designed for it. He's the strong presence standing at the left shoulder, he's the arm that stretches out to do what the words cannot. He isn't the person who makes the decisions, and I really think that's true for sex, too.

I've always thought Derek was a quiet, intense boy growing up. He may have laughed more, but he was a loner and I think he would do anything to help people. Little stuff, nothing attention grabbing, just small acts of assistance and kindness done because he *could* and the person he was helping couldn't. And I see that following him to the bedroom, to be focused on his partner's pleasure, on doing what it is they want. After the fire, I can totally see that including pain and restraint, both as punishment and as comfort, release from what builds up, ragged and raging as a waterfall, inside of him. He needs the momentary flares of pain, of marks that heal too slowly because they're never quite deep enough. He needs to focus of someone telling him to go here, to sit, good boy, to spread himself wide with his own fingers so that he's complete exposed. He *wants* that, I think, and he can't have it in Beacon Hills at all.

Or at least, not on a steady basis.

And I think Stiles could be dominant. I could see him going into pain play, but I could also see him just wanting to *have* something, to possess it in a way that soothes something inside of him. Stiles can be cruel and I have no doubt he'd do things just because he can, with Derek, because Derek can take it, but I also see a side of Stiles that will stand back when someone he loves needs him to, will be kind to them, or at least try, even when there's no hope. So I can see him being aware that there are lines and learning not to cross them.

Also, jfc, I want this fic so badly but I cannot write it. I can't even finish the derek-wolfed-out fic I wrote and it is GOOD god dammit.

There is a faucet in my head. It's starting to drip and I occasionally can even turn the damn knob, but then it gets stuck again and all I'm left are the drips.

And then I remember why Chinese water torture is one of the worst there is.

I'm with you on all of that. You know this though :-) There have been more NOT!Dominant Derek fics written, but none of them are really hitting me where I live [other than that after-care fic, that was sublime].

The thing with Stiles that bugs the shit out of me is people keep writing him as this immensely kind, caring, and generous person. He's not though. His protective instincts only flare for his Dad and Scott. He comes through when it comes to saving Derek's life, but even when he had the opportunity to be something to Lydia he wound up leaving her there [to save Derek].

Stiles *enjoys* making people uncomfortable and *pushing* them. I can see him being a Dom without any trouble. He just really needs to work on his coordination, because you don't want someone that freaking awkward aiming any type of object at your body. Well, Derek wouldn't mind because he would heal ;-)

I *want* you to write that fic. I want you to write that fic so badly I can hardly stand it.

The thing with Stiles that bugs the shit out of me is people keep writing him as this immensely kind, caring, and generous person.

The thing is, I think Stiles *is* that person- but only for a very, very, VERY select group. At first, it's his Dad and Scott. No one else. Derek gets worked in bc he's Derek and intense and interesting and Stiles clearly likes that, so there's... an orbit that happens, maybe. Their relationship is not caring or kind at all, and in s1 at least all about Scott, but again, I could see it *getting* there. I can see Stiles as pack-mom and not just bc I find that trope adorable. I just don't think it's as simple as most of the writers who do it think it will be for Stiles.

Stiles, by his nature, is not generous so much as possessive. He'll do anything to keep you, and keep you well. He'll also do a lot of shit that he shouldn't to accomplish those things, because Stiles isn't *nice* either.

Not without you meaning something to him, anyway. Then he can be.

I dunno. Fandom always goes for facets of characters rather than the whole of their personalities. That's always the way it is. I can see why packmom!Stiles bugs you, and personally I love when he's a little darker, a little more of a jerk the entire time, but I dunno. I can see it, too. Just... he has to *get* there first.

Oh, I agree with you that Stiles *could* become the Pack mom [it's a trope I really enjoy, I just hate all the hand waving that goes along with it] but it's not his default setting because *his* group is so small.

And yeah, Stiles is the least nice guy on the show outside of say ... an Argent ;-) until your his because he is exactly as possessive as you say. I love that about him.

Stiles = Slytherin. Stiles = Dominant. Absofrigginlutely. Stiles also = asshole quite often. He's not a super sweetie pie. That's one thing I felt like I got right in my abandoned WiP for them. Stiles was a dick and he knew it and he used it to his advantage.

YES! He's not the super sweetie pie, that's *actually* Scott. Stiles is the one who gets it done regardless of the means it takes to do it. That's why he's my favorite, it's also why IMO the majority of fics are OOC. They forget the whole character like Ladycat said and just take the one or two facets they like best.

I read the piece that Rolling Stone did on the case right before I went on vacation & was so disgusted by the whole thing that I wanted to block it out of my head forever. The entire idea that people out there think this poor girl "deserved" to be sexually assaulted because she was passed out is so disturbing that I want to divorce myself from the human race.

You and me both. The people showing up and rallying to those men's defense and calling that poor girl a "whore" deserve the worst this world can offer.

Jezebel has a tag for the whole case. I couldn't watch the video, it was too upsetting. I was happy to see that my alma mater cancelled that kid's football scholarship.

I find the whole thing to be very "typical" of small towns in Ohio, down to the sheriff's comments. When I was an undergrad at OSU, my best friend was at Miami University (in Miami, Ohio), and there was a case where a whole frat had abducted a pizza girl and gang-raped her a year or two before she'd started there (somewhere between 1982-84). They all got off with a slap on the wrist "so that their futures won't be ruined" and then they all made t-shirts that boasted about being the pizza girl raping fraternity while the girl was told she couldn't discuss the case with anyone. The sheriff in that town said there was no such thing as rape and he used to refuse to investigate rape cases.

wow, I didn't think I could get even more upset.

AND YET

Ack, I'm sorry! This whole thing just fills me with rage. When I was younger, I used to hope things like this would inevitably get better, but now it feels like they haven't progressed at all (at least in small towns in Ohio).

You know, most of the world thinks things like this only happen in the South. And somehow, the media keeps letting them. I do wish some respectable national journalists would make this reach as many eyes as possible.

But then the asshole politicians would start talking about different kinds of rape again and that way lies madness.

I got news for you- middle of Ohio and PA are basically the same as that stereotype of the south, down to the KKK grand dragon being located *in Pennsylvania*.

Yeah, I think it's that people don't want to think about it, and Anonymous have done a lot of uncovering stuff, but a lot of what they've found isn't admissable evidence, and it makes the community all the more defensive and awful about trying to protect the perpetrators and, just UGH. It makes me think of the time a high school student from my town actually got prison for rape, and how my first thought was about how many More people should've over the years.

Um, I'm not helping anything here. I guess that's why I haven't talked about it much, I feel like I'll just get mired in the "people suck" instead of moving on to the whole "we can all stop rape" better stuff.

I have to believe like you say, people aren't talking more about it because of what we've both said.

*something* has to be done. It seems like our justice system is more eager to protect those charged with a crime than the victim of the crime. And yes, I understand no one is guilty until they've been tried by peers and all that, but the monster in that video? There has to be something that can be done to him.

OMG!!!! I can't believe this story it is 2013 people! This should not be allowed to happen with so many people knowing what actually happened. Has the media done anything about this? If not this should go to ALL the media channels to see what would happen.

These boys, as they will never be men, need to be stopped as they will continue to hurt girls and women! I am horrified!!!

TTYAL,

ED.

This is just one of MANY stories like this floating around. Do a quick google on the 11 year old who was gang raped last year. It's frightening and disgusting and horrifying.

Yes. My sanity. I can't. The rage. The despair.

If it hurts us like this, what must the people who have been personally affected feel?