He's awesome. You can read old Savage Love sex columns here. He's a sex advice columnist who's been around forever - he used to piss me off for being slightly misogynist in the gay man way (ew, vaginas!), but he's gotten more even-handed with age. He and his husband also did the whole It Gets Better project, and I've enjoyed his books (old columns and the one about getting married). His sex advice is often hilariously snarky and awesome.

And yeah, turning it back on them is also the most honest - you've done what you can. Saying you can't take anumore is coming from a place of concern for them - and your own self. If, in trun, somebody tells you you don't have the right to protect yourself, then, well, it's almost easier from there.