Mar. 7th, 2013

turnonmyheels: (ST:  Spock BW)
Star Trek Soup Group Weekend Edition: no actual soup, sandwiches instead. City on the Edge of Forever. Bones accidentally gets hit with some meds from his hypo-spray and goes nuts. He falls through a vortex or some such and manages to reset history. So, Kirk and Spock go after him, and have to live through a bit of history to get to where Bones was. Enter Joan Mother-Fucking Collins!! So young and fresh faced! Kirk falls in love with her -- of course -- because he can't function without the emotional side of his menage a trois. Blah blah blah. They save the day, Joan Collins dies, and everyone's favorite boyfriends go home.

The next episode was the season 1 finale. Spencer refuses to watch it because, 'even when I was eleven I knew that god damned flying squid thing was fake and I'm not watching it now!'

So. We skipped that and went straight into Season 2. Lintel soup with mushrooms

Holy God, episode one was the Pon Farr episode. There are SO MANY THINGS. First of all Hello, Chekov! Second of all, Mr. Spock is an emotional nutcase, because he's in heat you see. And apparently Nurse Chapel is love with him? I can't figure out why she's crying if that's not the case. He thought he was going to be able to avoid this horrifically embarrassing and vulnerable Vulcan heat because he's a half-breed but he can't. He just happens to be in his 30s the first time it happens instead of a teenager. He must return to Vulcan and fuck or die. Spock is willing to die, but Kirk and Bones will Not Allow that To Happen.

So Kirk commits mutiny to save Spock's life. Spock calls his boyfriends his *best friends* and asks them to participate in the ceremony. The Vulcans get pissed that Spock brought humans to see the ancient rites, Spock's wife/finace rejects him, and picks Jim to fight him to the death and then Dr. McCoy out-thinks all the Vulcans in the universe to make it look like Jim is dead and saves the mother-fucking day.

Meanwhile, Kirk realizes Spock is a virgin and that's why he hasn't been getting anywhere trying to seduce him and Bones realizes if anyone's going to mess with Spock it's going to be Bones the end, or else Bones will mother-fucking cut a bitch. Everyone's favorite threesome is one step closer in getting their Vulcan into bed instead of just flirting

SPOCK'S BEDROOM LOOKS LIKE A WHORE HOUSE.

Also, Vulcans are speciest dicks.

And holy T'pau I want to bone Spock.

Kirk dresses to the left again -- my gay dudes are always checking out other men's packages which is why I know this -- and his pants were so tight that according to Spencer, 'you can see he's cut'

I try not to stare people's crotches as I think it's rude.

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