2010-12-15

turnonmyheels: (Holiday Hulk)
2010-12-15 03:36 pm

round these parts we call it obsession. like making a man with blond hair and a tan

because I love you all and I know you're sick to death of it, but I get my Christmas Cheer where I can - SO I present to you, the amazing, beautiful, heart-wrenching lyrics to Sammy, The Christmas Snake

Sammy the Christmas Snake hid in the corner of Santa's workshop
Sammy the Christmas Snake bit all the elves and made all the work stop
He hid up the stockings, he hid up the flue
bit old rudolph til his nose turned blue
ain't no telling what a Christmas Snake will do
ss ss ss Merry Christmas!

Sammy the Christmas Snake had peppermint stripes and pointy old fangs
Sammy that Christmas Snake he hides in the holly where the mistletoe hangs
Hid up the stockings, he hid up the flue,
he bit old Santa and Mrs. Santa too
Oh, Sammy that Christmas Snake
ss ss ss Merry Christmas

Come on kids! Sing with me!

Now, Sammy lived with Irv the Christmas Dwarf at Santa's house
And no one liked him much since he bit Sid the Christmas mouse
Til Rick the Christmas Mongoose went beserk and tried the wreck
the sleigh and Sammy saved the day when he broke Rick's Christmas neck

Hey!

Sammy the Christmas Snake now there ain't a pan of anacondas in the arctic
Sammy that old Christmas Snake now those elves don't chase him with that porch stick
What a merry mood he has all the girls and boys in giving out the cheer and homemaker poison
Sammy the Christmas Snake
Hey!
ss ss ss Merry Christmas!

Your very own 90 second copy of holiday cheer!




ETA I have officially become *that* old person.

One of Manfolk#1's grandsons just came in the office. He had on: t-shirt, shorts, sneakers. It is 30 degrees with a windchill of around ten.

Boy: Is my pawpaw in here?
Me: He went that way an hour ago.
Boy: OK
Me: Son, where are your clothes?
Boy: My sweatshirts in the house
Me: It isn't doing you any good there is it?
Boy: Heh.
Me: Go put some clothes on
Boy: ::eye roll::

I can't believe I called him son.

Next I'll be shaking my cane and yelling at squirrels or some shit to GET OFF MY LAWN